Did you know that the Vice President of the United States, Mike Pence himself, sent me an email asking for my name, address, and cell-phone number?  Yes, all I have to do is send them this email address: mikepence727@yahoo.com  (Psst: This is just between you and me, okay?)  See, he needs this information to make sure he sends my check for $10 million US dollars to the correct address!  Isn’t that nice of him!  I take back everything I have ever though about the man!

And isn’t it just amazing that there are 726 Mike Pences already on Yahoo?  Who knew the name was that popular?  And talk about national security, this definite shows that!  Mr Pence didn’t want to risk ours by using the secure – but presidential! – email addresses.  No, he won’t risk this possibly giving anyone direct access to the nation’s communication systems.  How thoughtful of him.

The money is from the government of the Benin Republic.  It must be a nation where multi-million and -billionaires have a second home because they have all this money in a population of less than 11 million people.

I’m not telling you all this to brag.  All this money will not change me at all.  I’ll still have the exact same lifestyle I have now.  I’ll just have a big cushion, should I ever need it.  No, I’m telling you this so if you should get one of those fraudulent emails we all know are out there, you will know that that’s what they are: fraudulent.  Mine is the only real one, I’m the only one who’s getting $10 million.