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Mike Pence is Sending Me $10 million!

Did you know that the Vice President of the United States, Mike Pence himself, sent me an email asking for my name, address, and cell-phone number?  Yes, all I have to do is send them this email address: mikepence727@yahoo.com  (Psst: This is just between you and me, okay?)  See, he needs this information to make sure he sends my check for $10 million US dollars to the correct address!  Isn’t that nice of him!  I take back everything I have ever though about the man!

Why Not Jumping Joes or Jumping Steves?

We’ve all done them. In elementary school, if nowhere else. The Jumping Jack. It’s pretty easy to see why it’s called a jumping something, but why Jack? There are several stories that claim to explain this. One is quite simply that it looks like the jacks you played with as a kid.

I Never Noticed That Before!

The screen on my desk phone tilts up. I’ve had this phone on my desk for at least five years and I never noticed that before. All those five years, I’ve craned my neck and finally had to stand up from my chair to read the screen because of the glare. Not a huge big deal, but very annoying.

Why Tell an Actor to Break a Leg?

When you wish an actor good luck before he goes into an audition or out on stage to perform, you tell him to Break a Leg. Sounds like an odd way to wish someone luck, doesn’t it? As actors themselves will tell you, we are a suspicious lot.

Dressed to the Nines?

The Pretty Woman and her man on the left are Dressed to the Nines!  Wait, dressed to the whats?  Why the nines?  Some say it’s because of the 99th Wiltshire Regiment, an infantry regiment in England since the regiment was known to be nattily attired.

If-onlys Re-examined

“If only I had turned left instead of right…” “I knew I should have left the house earlier…” The punchline being that some terrible event would have been avoided, very often relating to traffic accidents. If you had turned left, you wouldn’t have hit that slow-down for road construction and you’d have made it to the interview on time instead of a half hour late.

Yes, That IS Racist.

“I believe a person should be able to avoid contact with certain races and religions without others accusing those people of being homophobes and racists.”

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