"WARNING: Product May Work" and Other Ridiculous Warning Labels

There are some warning labels that leave you scratching your head. Like the one of those old cardboard windshield sun protectors. You know, to keep some of the sun/heat out of your car while you’re inside somewhere. On mine, set in red letters, was: “WARNING: Do not drive with sun shield in place.”

Really? You have to tell the driver that?  It isn’t perfectly obvious when you sit in the driver’s seat and look? This is cardboard. You can’t see through cardboard. You don’t need a warning label to know that.

I have a sleep disorder and I can’t get a restorative sleep without meds. The label on one says: “CAUTION: May cause drowsiness.” Isn’t that kind of like warning that sprinkling lighter fluid on coals may cause them to burn up? WARNING: PRODUCT MAY WORK.
hose are two of my favorite personal ones. Here are some others I found:

In case of fire, exit building before tweeting about it.” (before was in red)

This website has lots of ridiculous warnings. Such as to sit when using the toilet. Or to put your hat on your head, not your foot or your butt, as pictured above. Or that hair driers are to be for head hair only and iPod Shuffles are not to be eaten. That a toilet brush is not a hair brush. And perhaps the most surprising to me is a warning not to insert the small screwdrivers into your penis. Guys, have any of you had an urge to do that?

But here’s the worst part. Think about why these products carry warnings that you can’t believe even need to be said. You just know some idiot somewhere left that cardboard blocking his windshield, had an accident, and sued the company for not warning it could happen.

Or the nation has simply becomes so litigious that manufacturers feel the need to cover every possibility, no matter how unlikely or absurd.

We have got to get ourselves under control.