They are older, they have money, they are well-educated, most of them have been married 10 years or more, and they have a divorce rate of less than 20%. Who am I talking about? Swingers! Betcha didn’t see that one coming. But them’s the facts.
If you’re like almost everyone who is not in the swing community, that’s not the image you have of swingers! Me, too. I thought they were perverted and their lifestyle was sick. No reasonable person would do that!
There is such social stigma attached to swinging that these people have to stay hidden. They can’t let anyone know what they do in their personal lives. They could lose jobs, friends, even family members are not likely to be okay with it. And yet, they have something we all want, but they can’t tell us about it! They identify each other through code words they have. Vanilla and unicorn have double meaning for them. I am one of the few people not in the lifestyle, who understands it.
The first mistake people make is thinking that having multiple partners means they are not really committed to the marriage. The truth is, they are much more committed to their spouses than most couples are. The spouse ALWAYS comes first in their world. What you have to understand about these couples is that their communication with each other is really, really good. They can talk about their sex lives, their desires, what they feel they are missing. If you can talk about it, you can fix it. Almost always.
But the lifestyle is not for everyone. If you turn to swinging because your marriage is shaky, your marriage will implode. It’s all about communication. And again, less than 20% divorce rate. If you’re at all curious, click here to listen to the archive of my show about it.